A Lesson On Understanding

Contrary to popular belief, even the people we can tolerate least still have feelings - they still deserve to be treated as human beings.

This afternoon, having spoken to a woman of great strength, I realized that even though people don't always own the characteristics others prefer, there is still a great deal of good left in them deserving kind and respectful treatment. There are points in the lifetime of humans when they are presented with an opportunity to make a decision - to respect or take advantage of another. The hardest part about this is that sometimes the decision has already been made when one understands the question. Like I mentioned in my last post - life is about connections and the imprint they leave behind. I think we should all try to affect the world around us more positively, even when we feel negative.

This woman I spoke to has many faults. She has led a life of mistakes and was integrally involved in many people's pains. There were times in life when most people would have simply given up, without even thinking about glancing back. This same woman has overcome many of her personal obstacles, albeit not in the manner that some would prefer. For her it was the best she could do and much good resulted and continues to result from her course of action. Her largest fault now is that she has love for every person she meets, except that her definition of love has a few Riders attached. Trust in this - she loves with her whole heart. However, she also guards it and desires the same kind of love in return. I can tell you from experience its difficult to endure.

The people she cares for most often take advantage of her willingness to give, of herself, her resources, advice; anything she has she'll offer. Her expectation in return is respect, and the kind of southern appreciation where people help each other and give of themselves in return. Sometimes when this happens and conflict results, she uses an approach less than preferable. Other times, she is spot on. Lately, as life has aged her heart, allowing it to become softer and less abrasive, she has allowed people to step on her, willingly and knowingly. Our conversation related to this and she needed to turn some of that giving love onto herself.

Anyhow, back to the point; today I learned that even people who are difficult have great successes and personal traits left to discover. If only we can look past the facade physically facing us and dig deeper below the shell that houses what really defines a person. She is immensely strong. Even with knowledge that she has made many mistakes, she still dedicates her life to loving people in her own way. That's a good thing... to love.

Today I learned that I need to look at people more objectively - try to see the whole, rather than the countless number of mistakes we all have made.

"Humanity: The quality of being human; the peculiar nature of man, by which he is distinguished from other beings (BrainyMedia.com, 2010)




BrainyMedia.com., (2010)., Humanity., Retreived May 27, 2010 from http://www.brainyquote.com/words/hu/humanity174669.html

Quality Over Quantity

Life is about connections - the people we meet and their impact on our lives. People can have several or few connections and still find the same level of happiness as the next person. In this area, I believe the saying, "quality, not quantity" definitely applies. Experience shows that having a large collection of continuous connections returns benefits, as well as limitations; the same goes for having fewer connections. However, when quality is thrown into the measurement mix, perhaps quantity has little or no bearing. Instead, the revelation of deeper relations can be understood and enjoyed.

I have learned this through experience lately. Although many of my constant connections have suddenly disappeared, I have begun to more appropriately value those that remain - the ones that were true and unconditional. This life lesson has reminded me that sometimes we take for granted what is always there... lucky for me, the important connections remain mostly intact. Fortunate is this, for I am no where close to being alone. On the contrary, I feel much more connected than in the past, only lately the connections are equally fueled from both sides.

"Quality is not an act, it is a habit." -Aristotle 384 BC-322 BC

Communications Anew

It's always nice when a desire for open communication is met by the actual ability. That's one of the things I have been enjoying in life and love these days. There was a time when I would hold things in, instead of saying what was on my mind, but now, I am learning that letting it out doesn't have to return a negative response. This is a completely new feeling for me... I can communicate how I feel without having to feel badly for expressing myself honestly and freely. It's going to take me some measure of time to relearn the art of doing so, I am sure, but in the long run, I am so happy to be lucky enough to enjoy this in life and love. I aspire to be open with everyone I meet as best I can. I cannot say that I will always succeed, but it appeals to me as a goal - as a method of opening up my shell a bit so that both the world can see in and I out.

Sometimes doing something we haven't done before is the only way to get what we want.