My bio from another site. Says a little about who I am and how I see the world.

Bio Time for change.

Does anyone even read this stuff?

I'm a quirky girl with a unique mind, don't bother wasting my time. I love wholly and I give whenever I am able, don't take freely if you love conditionally. I'm always ready for a challenge, and I rarely give up without a good effort; I'm not just going to go away, unless I know life will be better without you. My life is an adventure that I have yet to take - I have to get through the introduction first, so please stop rushing me to be perfect and refined. Friends are not forever, unless you're lucky to weed through the junkie ones to find the treasures - I've been fortunate enough to find a few. I'm tired of people who think they know me - you probably truly believe that you do. Unfortunately, you only know what I've chosen to show you. I will consider my life a success when I have accomplished the following:

Graduate College
Find True Companionship
Have At Least 1 Child
Visit Venice, Italy
Gain and Share Knowledge With Others
Experience True Impacting Loss
Love, No Matter How Much Effort It Takes

There's probably more... it's a growing list.
I'm well on my way to a few already.

I'm free. I might try to understand others' perspectives, but I refuse to change mine just as a pacification effort; I accept others as they are, faults and all - after all, no one's perfect - but I do not stand for people who feel the need to impose their beliefs on others. I'm an American - one who believes in freedom of speech, limited government, community, and an overall respect for others... it's not perfection, but I don't see why it's so difficult - it's really pretty simple. Be yourself. Let others do the same. Respect your own kind... we're all human.

I'm in love. He's a challenge and he's real. I feel alive when I'm near him, and I miss him when I'm not. I know that love is not easy, that its not something to take for granted. It requires full acceptance of one another, including the parts less desirable.. without them, none of us would be whole. It takes effort, compassion, and a very long time. I just know he's worth it. ♥

As for the rest of who I am... TBA. only time can tell.

Professionalism.

So I've been dealing with a lot of political pressure to conform at work lately and have even encountered an instance where speaking up about my concerns and frustrations led to me hearing that I "need to be more Professional." Regardless of the fact that my bringing up these issue was my way of acting professional and seeking collaboration from my seniors to resolve an inefficient control on both gossip in the workplace and important financial reporting concerns. For the first part of the week I was left to feel as though nothing I did for the organization was worth the effort... until 3:15 this afternoon.

For the past 13 months, I've been trying to uncover a reconciliation discrepancy that seemed to be hiding in the depths of electronic data compiled by the organization. To no avail, I continued to struggle through the frustration of feeling like I was missing pieces, or like those provided to me by others were of a lesser integrity. In strive to attain my goal of reconciling properly, I sought out the assistance of a CPA who participates in our firm's annual inside audits. She and I were able to work together and through the help of her excellent expertise, arrived at a solution for the problem - to alter the methods used at present time for reconciliations and realign them to actually balance each individual component of the fund accounting system.

Hooray! Tomorrow morning I get to show my effort was not in vain and that I do have some useful professional qualities, like collaboration, research, diligence, and a desire for fair and just reporting practices...

Yeah, I think I'll work on my "show you how professional I am" qualities instead.
If I could change one thing about the world today, it'd be the disrespect bestowed upon the little people in business. Without us, there would be no business.

"A general, raw view of professionalism is, 'a focused, accountable, confident, competent, motivation toward a particular goal, with respect for hierarchy and humanity, less the emotion'." (Compliments of Laurel of http://laureltarulli.wordpress.com/2010/01/27/what-is-professionalism/)

Reading??

Follow, so I know you're there.
And comment so I can get your input.

-L

Influenced by Change

This week at work there were some moments of discomfort, some discussions, and some time away. I spent my day off doing things that I needed to do - I saw my brother, spent time with my lover, napped on the couch, looked at my finance situation, and now I sit at the kitchen table typing this blog. Change is such a progression; it takes the shape of many stages and moments in time to fully complete the cycle. I am doing very well with my change. That does not go to say that its easy to go through, but I've been doing my very best to pull the beneficial messages from my experiences. I then build upon these personal discoveries and strive towards better understanding myself, those I interact with, and the world we live in.

What did I learn this week?
I appreciate the divide between personal and business and I will defend that position when I feel it is encroached upon. I know that if my stance does not yield some positive results that I will be prepared for the next portion of life's evolution. I'm not always the easiest person to get along with, to understand and comprehend, but that's likely because sometimes I am not sure I even understand myself, until I've had time to reflect and analyze. I'm at a point in my life where I'm ready to demand my worth and that's a difficult task to appeal to when one has spent so much time settling for what was easier. My love is complex, yet simple, and I have no complaints with it. I am the happiest "in love" person I know and I owe it all to my wonderful boyfriend. My work life, however, holds room for improvement.

Now to see what plays out... and how I can influence it.

“You don't have to be a "person of influence" to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.” (Scott Adams, 1957- ).

So, its like this...

I've got a pretty decent employer. The pay could improve, but generally, the concept of the job is decent. The people I work with are genuine and for the most part they are willing to help, accept, and work with other employees within the organization, but sometimes gossip occurs, and even the adult version of cliques is prevalent in some situations. I'm not being negative, its just what I see. The work is interesting and I'm never bored due to lack of tasks to complete, so I like the fact that I'm busy.

My home life is relaxing, a bit stressful here and there, but overall quite enjoyable. I recently started my whole life over, in every aspect except for my immediate family (Parents/Siblings/etc). It wasn't an easy transition to adapt to, but it's definitely been worth the efforts; I love the life I'm living. To top it all off, I have an amazing boyfriend.

As I continue to go through the remaining steps of this transition, I like to write myself through things. I welcome any advice or comments that support or negate my position(s).

“The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.” (Bob Moawad)

A down day.

I keep trying to convince myself that everything is all right, that I am okay. Lately, I'm starting to think I've been lying to myself in regards to certain aspects of that "being okay." I know I'm happy in love - that couldn't be any better. However, I really miss my old friends. I miss the goofy times we had together, the fun times we had together, even the times when our lives weren't so perfectly pleasant - these times were real... I miss that. It seems like when she told me, "karma's a bitch," that I didn't care, but now I'm beginning to wonder if my struggles are a direct result of some sort of karmic activity... I won't say I'd change how I handled things, but I wish I could have blocked some of the negativity thrown my way. I used to be the kind of person that would do anything for another, simply because they asked, and sometimes even when they hadn't. Now, I'm skeptical about doing for others because I'm concerned they'll drop me at any moment that my life doesn't meet their standards; I've stopped trusting people, and in direct relation to this is my new lack of enjoyment in some areas of life. I need to focus on the things I have to do right now - get my finances in order, move, and hopefully find a job where the organization actually values me as a person, rather than how it is now... When I get through those few tasks, I hope to be in a better frame of mind, one where I might find some new friends... or even just one.

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." (Walter Winchell)

Thanks for walking in and staying around even when my life was a mess... you know who you are and how much you are appreciated and loved.

Constants

When I picture my future, what I desire to attain most out of life in the next ten years, there are always certain things that remain unchanged. I want to be a successful business woman, who doesn't necessarily work in business, but rather, handles professional skills as a personal business; I want to do something with mathematical computations, and I want to work with people, and I see myself achieving this by marketing my skills to prospective employers to find the best career situation possible. That's going to be a difficult and enduring task, but its one aspect that never changes in my image of the future. I want to have a loving companionship with my best friend, someone who I can trust, communicate with, and be open and honest, and someone who I truly love. Sounds cliche, but I think the primary relationships we have affect the direction of our lives, and I want mine to stand on a sturdy foundation. There's family, and a warm, bright environment that fosters free thought with guided suggestions; I want to belong to a family of individuals, rather than like thinkers and doers. When I picture my future, I see it exactly as I would enjoy it, and I know it's possible. Its going to take diligence, compromise, and time... but when I get there - to the future - nothing else could be worth it more.

Small, short, but I think it's enough.

“When it comes to the future, there are three kinds of people: those who let it happen, those who make it happen, and those who wonder what happened.” (John M. Richardson, Jr., 1938- ).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_M._Richardson