So today I realized that I'm not the best communicator. I try to be, but as I transmit my mental thoughts into words, somehow the meaning gets jumbled and something completely different comes out on the other end, often times without me even being aware of that fact. I have been focusing on trying to articulate my words to best achieve my communication goals, but it seems that sometimes there are more than words relayed. Hopefully I can work on this and figure out the best way to use my brain, mouth, and words collectively to state my case. In time, I suppose...

Thought I had a feeling for blogging, but I was wrong... maybe tomorrow.

No one ever really knows...

Sometimes I wonder how it all works out in the end, but then, in the end, none of us are even here anymore to see how it all worked out... I guess its not something to find concern in then, is it? Even so, I find it in my nature to ponder the future, the events to come, in tandem with those past... I find them a balance beam, upon which one end upholds the future and the other holds down the past; will the teeter totter of the beam's converging forces cause both to spin out of control? Maybe, I guess IN THE END, no one ever really knows.

But then again, I do often ponder things, anything really, without any course or direction specifically, and oft times for no real reason at all. I suppose its just the wandering mind housed within my dull skull, seeking out curiosities without any honest purpose, but rather for the sake of doing so. Sometimes, though, I wonder about things that matter, I yearn to know more about what is, and why its so. But I guess its all fairly pointless to concern oneself with... because in the end, when no one's here, no one will know anything at all.

Maybe my desire to know and my wandering curiosities relate to the measures of time I spend alone, seeking my own soul... Perhaps I'm trying to figure out something else entirely, something unknown even to me, yet perpetuated so deeply within my mind, body, and soul, that I will strive to attain such knowledge until the end of time, where, as mentioned before, no one really knows anyhow... Certainly, though... I'll definitely keep on trying.

Right now I know its late and I'm tired, yet unwilling to shut my eyes. I'm wishing you were here with me, telling me whats on your mind. I know there are things to discuss in there, topics of desire, but again, the time is always trying to bury such thoughts with conflicting schedules and minimal sharing... the yearn inside to know, the curiosities of my mind, of your mind, of their mind, of the Earth, the World, and the Universe... I suppose are foreign to me... things that not now, nor in the end, will I ever come to know.

As I watch you Walk Away

It's been a while since I remembered my blog page... that's okay because its mainly for my own personal escape anyhow.

As I watch you walk away, I wish I could come with you.
As I watch you walk away, I wish that you could stay.
As I watch you get into your car, I wish that we could stay together.
As I watch you drive down the road, I wish that you could turn around.
As I watch you walk or drive away, or as I do so myself,
My heart is wrenched a bit more each day at the time that we have missed.
As I watch you watch me drive away, I wish that you could come along.
As I watch you watch me walk away, I wish that I could stay.
We are constantly watching one another walk away, and its difficult to bear,
But what we must remember and cherish deep without our hearts,
Is that we aren't watching one another walk away forever, but just for the work day.
As I watch you walk away, as a tear rolls down my face,
As I think about the things we miss, the moments out of place,
There is one thing I can never forget... and that is the amount of love I have for you... something distance cannot take.